12 Waitresses Decide Not To Show Up For Work After Boss Promotes “Son Of A Friend” Without Any Experience Over Them

Asking for a promotion is far from a pleasant task, but sometimes — you know you deserve it. However, gender bias is still taking its toll on women, and as long as there are men at the top, females find it hard to step into the spotlight. So imagine working your fingers to the bone in your preferred industry only to see a less experienced male colleague get the desired rise after only a few weeks.

That’s what happened to Redditor HurryTeeniebeanie. As this woman shared her confession on the well-known Anti Work subreddit, it’s easy to say that nothing in the world ever seems truly fair.

You see, the user and her female coworkers have been working at their restaurant for years — they have the experience, know all the nooks and crannies of the business, and feel ready to work their way up the career ladder. Sadly, the manager seemed to have a different opinion when he decided to promote an inexperienced man instead. Read on to see how the whole story unfolded.

After working in a restaurant for years, a woman learned just how terrible the gender promotion gap is

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

She recently shared on the Anti Work subreddit how her male coworker, who started 5 weeks ago, got offered a desired promotion by her manager

Image credits: Vanessa Garcia (not the actual photo)

The more widespread problem of the gender promotion gap is the unconscious beliefs recruiters hold, an expert says

“Men are more likely to be promoted than women in the US and the UK,” Sally Heady, a career coach and cognitive hypnotherapist, told Bored Panda. As an example, she mentioned a study by McKinsey and Leanin.org that assessed the representation of women in corporate America. “They found that for every 100 men promoted to the first step up to manager, only 86 women are promoted.”

“This refers to the ‘broken rung’ which explains why fewer women are then promoted to higher leadership positions,” she explained. When it comes to the UK, another study found that 1 in 5 women have been passed over for a promotion at work in favor of a male colleague. They are also “significantly less likely to be offered a promotion compared to men after having children.”

Often, managers underestimate womens’ potential and refuse to give the desired climb at work. When asked what could be the reasons for this, Heady said there’s always the possibility of malice or overt sexism by the recruiter. “However, I believe the more widespread problem is the limiting, unconscious beliefs recruiters hold regarding the roles of men, women, and what a successful leader looks like,” she added.

According to the career coach, you might describe a great leader as ambitious, strong, visionary, strategic, charismatic, and assertive. “As a result of societal conditioning and historical male dominance in leadership positions, many people, consciously or unconsciously, would still associate the word ‘strength’ or ‘ambition’ with a man.”

“Whether we realize it or not, we have a natural predisposition to categorize ‘types’ of people in certain roles, purely because it’s easier on our mental load… This is why training on unconscious bias is absolutely crucial in addressing the promotion gap. Unconscious bias is more dangerous than overt sexism in many ways because people don’t even realize the impact that societal norms, conditioning, and personal beliefs have on their decision-making. Without that awareness, the problem just continues.”

Speaking about HurryTeeniebeanie’s situation, there are several things to be said about the management. First, they made this decision “based on their conscious or unconscious bias toward men in leadership” and “need training about the power of unconscious bias”. Second, “they promoted the man because of a pre-existing relationship, a natural rapport because of shared beliefs and values or the gut pull of the ‘familiar’ model of leadership presented by the man.”

“If those possibilities are true, then it would point to management who isn’t committed to addressing gender equality in leadership, which is very disappointing in 2022.”

Situations like these can lead to feeling less confident and get in the way of women showing their full brilliance in a leadership role

“It can be really disheartening for women who want to progress and pursue leadership opportunities if they don’t have confidence that their application will be considered fairly,” Heady noted. Women may start to wonder “what’s the point if I’m not going to get it,” which may lead to poor performance in interviews.

Finding yourself in a vicious cycle of feeling less confident and more stressed “might get in the way of women showing their full power and brilliance in a leadership role. For some women, this might even result in not bothering to apply for promotion because they don’t feel supported or that they don’t have the ‘backing’ of their organization, which is a crying shame.”

However, if you’re going for a leadership position, Heady suggested it’s important to embody a strong sense of confidence in your abilities. “Women are known for being less comfortable with self-promotion, but that will not help your chances of being promoted,” she said and added you should not act obnoxious or arrogant. “Some of the most impactful leaders are very humble and they have a calm confidence in their ability to get the job done.”

According to her, there’s great power in the unconscious mind, and recruiters could decide whether or not to promote you within the first few seconds of meeting you. “Practice holding yourself and adjusting your body language to reflect confidence and self-belief so that you instill that same level of confidence in the person recruiting you,” she recommended connecting to a memory of when you felt at your most confident.

“Whilst there’s still a way to go in addressing inequality in the workplace, please don’t lose heart and keep going if you want a promotion. The world needs women leaders and voices like never before. You can be a leader and you can do it your way. Don’t squash yourself into the masculine model of leadership if it doesn’t feel good to you,” she concluded.